My New Personal Missions

A little background information for all you wonderful newbies that I have met through blogging and maybe some secretly lurking old friends of mine that have not seen me in a long time. I know your out there! Don't be shy, do tell me your stalking!

Last January, just a little over a year ago, I finished breastfeeding Hutter, and as I have posted in the past. I do not lose weight breastfeeding and while breastfeeding, that is not the time to be actively pursuing weight loss either. So, for a year I wore maternity clothes, handy me downs, Studly's Tshirts, and sweats because I refused to stay at the weight I was after pregnancy. I for sure was not going to spend money on clothing three sizes bigger than what I wanted to be!

After Hutter decided to be done nursing and the "Holiday Season" was over, I began to eat less and exercise daily. I became secretly "addicted" to Turbo Jam and working out. I slowly lost weight at a healthy pace and my body was transforming. Within a year, I lost all the weight I had gain and plus some. I am currently ten pounds under my prepregnancy weight.

Through this process I have become passionate about being healthy. It is not about being skinny or looking the best. It is about feeling good about yourself and treating your body like a temple.

This last week I went to my first yoga class. Downward dog, child's pose, half moon just became my best friends. I love yoga, but have only done it a handful of times. I had never taken an actually class. Just in the privacy of my home interacting with FitTV. Let me just say, I am in love. It is relaxing, challenging, and the woman's bodies look amazing. I have found new muscles that I didn't know existed in my arms, shoulders, and legs. It is killer!

My new mission it to get lean and toned yoga style. It is so empowering to challenge yourself and see results of your hard work.

Also, I am going to began Friday Fitness N Health on my blog. I want to help others be inspired to take control of their bodies and make themselves healthy. Ranging from exercise, eating habits, and more. I am not an expert by any means and I am continuing to learn as I go. But you don't need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on diet pills, diet plans, exercise equipment to get the body you want.

I want questions from you. I am open to answering anything that I may know. I am also hoping to learn from others. I love learning new secrets to healthiness!

I am hoping this will help me to pass time, for many of you know that this adoption is a long process and creative ways to pass time is essential!

I want to also do a shout of to my Studly! He has lost so much weight also in the past year. He is in a Biggest Loser challenge at work and making great progress in the contest. In the last year between the both of us we have lost a total weight of 67lbs. Oh my gosh, I had not added that up before! WOW!

Here is a picture of our family a year and a half ago.
I love this picture, so I really secretly wanted to just put it on my blog.

Federal Adoption Tax Credit. HELP!

This tax credit is set to expire in December 2010, a credit that has helped many families afford to adopt. If you have ever adopted, plan to adopt, or know someone who has adopted, please take a few minutes of your time to call your Senator or Representative about the H.R. 213.

We have to take action to allow families, like us, to afford the expenses of adoption. These children need us! This could affect many families who have a desire to adopt in the future.

Click on the button above to find links to find out how you can contact your representatives!

Wordless Wednesday!

MY NEW BLOG! How is it?! I have been playing around...
making changes
trying to figure out how to change my header
figured it out. HOORAY!
try to make a three column blog
almost lost all of it
almost cry-okay had a little tear
got it back
(Studly will have to do that)
made some more changes
and WAALLAA!

ECHO Scheduled

Yesterday, we took Hutter to the doctor. His saturation level was good. Reassuring! However, the doctor agreed that having an ECHO would be the safest way to know for sure why he is having these spells. She did not have a conclusion as to why this would be occuring. So, an ECHO would be a way to atleast clear that reason out of the way. We have it scheduled for March 10th and I am okay with that. I don't believe this is a very critical situation. If he was having problems breathing, this was occuring often, he was not gaining weight and growing, then I would be more concerned. That is the soonest we can get him in.

Thank you for all your prayers. I have received many emails from you! God will take care of him!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Chirst Jesus. Philippians 3, 6-7

Quick side note...I talked with our agency yesterday and they are sending our first set of paperwork! So, we will be very busy in the weeks to come.

He's crazy!

Please Pray for Hut

I am taking Hut to the doctor today because twice this week his lips have turned blue. The reason for his lips to turn bluish is because for some reason he is not getting adequate oxygenation. This could be caused by many different reason. We just need to find out why he is not getting enough oxygen.

I have been questioning Hut's heart since he was a newborn. The first couple weeks of his life he would turn blue around his torso, tummy area when he cried. I fugured his circulation was not fully developed at that time. We had a chest Xray done and his oxygen saturations checked and everything came back normal. However, I always had a feeling we should have had a ECHO (ultrasound of the heart) done to make sure everything looks okay. Around three weeks old Hut stopped having these blue spells and he moved on with life.

In the back of my mind I would think we should look into this more. But you know how mothering goes. Thoughts that I was just worrying and my neonatal experience of thinking every baby has something wrong only because I only see sick babies was getting in my way.

Then this last fall, Hut was having some wheezing and breathing issues and we had to do breathing treatments for a week.

Now, up to date, Hut has been sleeping a lot lately. Taking four hour naps (I'm not complaining or anything) and still sleeping 11-12 hours a night. That seemed like a lot to me, however, he has always been a good sleeper and nap taker. I figured he is just going through a growth spurt.

However, this last week Hut's lips have turned blue for no reason. This morning it happened again. So, now we are taking him into the doctor today. I have faith that God will take care of him. I am not worried, I just want to make sure everything looks okay. I know God has given me peace that He is in control. I have been praying about this off and on because I have always been curious as to why he had that first spell as a newborn.

I feel like God may be giving me little signs to take action before it's too late. I just get nervous when I hear about young children passing away and they had an unknown heart defect.

I am glad we are hopefully going to get a clear answer about this. I pray that the doctors will allow us to get a ECHO. I will feel much more comfortable about his health if we can get this done.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Great Cause, Great Giveaway

This friend of mine, Rach@InHisHands, is raising money for their adoption from Korea. She is giving away some amazing prize packages full of great goodies! Please jump on over and visit her blog and enter for a chance to win!

As we know, adoption is expensive but worth every penny and your pennies can help this sweet family!

We are Moving Forward

Yesterday, the door bell rang. I think to myself..."No, it's not time for all the boys in the neighborhood to be ringing and knocking at the door uncontrollable until Con answers and invites them in." To begin where they left off the day before, destroying the house like we are in a war zone! Machine gun noise affects, nerf balls flying into the kitchen, at my face, while making dinner, and Hut being used as a human shield, dodging the bullets(nerf balls) from the "BAD GUYS."
No, no it can't be that time again already.

Maybe it's the GIRL clothes I ordered off the internet the other day that were on major clearance. What, why would I be doing that?! Nope Not Me!

Just ONE Knock...okay it has to be a "normal" reason for a knock at the door.

I can see as I approach the door, looking through the glass, a FED EX truck. My heart skips a beat.

So, I answer and laying next to the door is a large manilla enevelope, I bend down quickly to see where it came from. I spot a word that is familiar to my vocabulary.

HOLT...

I grapped it quickly, rushed inside and slammed the door (didn't mean to do that one). Smiling ear to ear. Doing a little dance in the pants.

I open it quickly and to my atonishment it was Our Adoption Process Guidebook for Korea!

Can I really be getting this excited about an INCH thick guidebook?

Why Yes, let me explain...

That excitment and joy is unique, a feeling I had not felt before. Getting that guidebook is like seeing the little pink line appear on the stick you just pee'd on. Knowing that, that pink line means a baby is to come. That guidebook means we have a baby coming in the near future. This means we are truly beginning this process. We have been accepted by our agency and now it is time to buckle down and begin this journey. However, it is different kind of feeling than finding out I'm pregnant.
The experience of having a baby growing inside of you is unbelieveable! Knowing you are helping God create a miracle is one of the most blessed feelings in the world.

However, the feeling of knowing we are CHOOSING to have a child that has no parents, no family, no love and giving that to them is amazing. Even though I may not be visible pregnant, nauseous, gaining enormous amount of weight, feeling a kick from inside, not being able to breath. I am still EXPECTING!

The "guidebook" brings me a little closer to a sweet baby that soon I will call my daughter. Even though, I have no idea who she is, I can feel a love for her. I imagine a sweet little face with dark skin, eyes, and hair (with a little bow in it). Little round cheeks and a smile that melts my heart.

I never thought I could love a baby I don't even know. It is such a surreal feeling, undeniably love. She may not be growing under my heart but she is growing in it!

Wordless Wednesday

HIS favorite past time, lately







Do you wonder where he gets those silly faces?

Well, you see...





Okay, it's mine too!

Share your children's funny faces!!

Not Me! Monday

Once again, it's Monday. Oh how the minutes of motherhood pass by like a tornado through our quiet midwestern town. Join along on this crazy ride of self indulgence to be brutally honest with yourself. The Mastor-mind behind this is MckMama, who is not a hoot! So, sit back, relax and enjoy every moment of your free therapy appointment in the safety of your own home!

First off, I never give my children pop, but if I did, I would not put MOUNTAIN DEW (DIET, does that makes a difference? OH it doesn't matter because it is SO NOT TRUE!) in a old water bottle and give it to Hutter to drink in the car. That is so unhealthy and also why would I have a Diet Mountain Dew in the car to which I was also not drinking.

Okay, I am a Great Nurse, well trained and certified to handle critical situations. Which means, my heart does NOT feel like it is jumping out of my chest, sweat beads forming on my forehead, and my hands shaking uncontrollable while a hundred of "Now what was I trained to do again" thoughts race through my mind. Nope, that did not happen to me at work this week!


Let me tell you, the flu season did not hit our house this week. Fever, snotty nose, coughing, headaches, and chills. Nope, my house is not germ invested on every surface area possible.



So, Hutter did not get all excited when Con was getting off the bus that he suddenly became nauseous and threw up all over ME and the couch. MMMMmmm the smell of regurgitated orange juice and cereal bar on my neck. Can you smell it? Which I did not just use a damp wash cloth to wipe my neck and the couch off. Nope no soap! Not me! A little Febreeze to freshen the smell, good to go and went about our day!

So, since that did not happen, I just could not understand why my husband was complaining of the stench of puke and febreeze when he sat down on the couch that evening. He must be crazy!

I did not steal the wonderful ideas of MckMama's creative activities to entertain the boys this week.







Is this what I am suppose to do Mommy?




NOPE NOT AT ALL!

Enjoy, the beginning of your brutally honest life and let me know how it goes next week!

This little bitty baby

As I sit here tonight taking care of a little bitty baby once again. I can't help to think about something I have been agonizing over lately. On a side note, we do have many other sizes of infants, really. It is funny how as a nurse you go through phases of getting different types of infants. Right now the charge nurses must love to put me with the premies. I do really enjoy them. Tonight, I bathed this little guy and gave him a fresh bedding. This is one of my favorite reasons for working nights. We do all the baths and weigh them on nights. He is so fresh and clean.

However, as I wash this little baby and make him perfectly clean on the outside, I can't help to think of what other people think of him. He is not a "perfectly" healthy baby. At least in the eyes of humans. But to God he is. On the inside this baby is broken. This baby has the worst head bleed that is possible. Which means to doctors and nurses, he is a "Vegetable." His tummy doesn't work right and his lungs are in bad condition.

In the medically community, there is many times when I feel like doctors and nurses just forget there is a God. The God, the Almighty Physician. He heals, He loves, and He is present.

We see so many babies that pass away and that are so sick beyond understanding. That I think the medical community loses faith. The faith that God does heal. I was once a part of the loss of faith. My faith with God was not very strong. I was the "Sunday Worshiper Only" Type. I would attend church and praise God on Sunday. That was all. I did not have a relationship with the Lord. I attended church all my life but did not embrace the wonderful relationship that God desires and longs for from all of us.

Through the past few years, I have become an active participate in my relationship with God and through that I have found that Believe, that Faith, that God does heal. He is present right now. I never understood it when people said "God spoke to me." But now I do. My life has completely changed and I am rejoicing for the life I am living at this very moment because of God.

So through this profound new faith which I am constantly still achieving. I have begun to look at controversial medical topics in a new way. Unconsiously, the medical community thinks when a baby is healed it is because of our medical interventions. That may be, but God gave us those medical interventions, He healed the baby.

This baby tonight has not shown signs of dying. He is not on maximum support. However, the doctors have spoken to these parents about withdrawing support because of his head. Because he may not live a full potential life. I just struggle with this. I believe God will take this child if that is what is suppose to happen. But taking a child off of support because his brain is not "perfect" is not right in my eyes.

I have just been struggling with this lately and especially seeing families lose their children and talking about the heart ache on the blogs. Sometimes, we as nurses and doctors forget how special these babies are, that it is a life we are dealing with. It is someone's baby!

Small World..Please Pray for Veiyah

I came upon this blog from other blogger's blogs, of course. This little girl is a twin and her twin sister died before she was born. Veiyah has a complex heart defect and just came out of surgery from one of many surgeries she will have to have to fix her little heart. She is very Critically Sick and needs our prayers. However, what makes this family different is I somewhat know this family. While looking through their blog I found a promotion for Dave Lunsford's CD release. Well, my very close cousin is married to a Lunsford and I know of Dave Lunsford. So, the mother of Veiyah is my cousins sister in law. What a small world.

Please, Please pray for this family. You can find her link on my sidebar. Go visit this sweet family.

Wordless Wednesday

This is Con and Hutter last year at this time! Oh how time flies!

Con's Crazy Valentine

What do you think this will create at the end? Well, read along and find out what fun activity Con and I did for his school Valentines. It is fun, easy, and creative. What more can you ask for?



First, gather all the ingredients, I mean, materials as seen above.

Then, fold string in half and tape to paper.



Next, place hearts on paper and tape paper around the hearts.




Turn over and tape Reese's to string with tape, like this.



Fold aluminim over Reese's



Last tape a picture and menu circle to front. You also can make a playlist instead of a picture. But how cute is Con rocking out his guitar. It says "My Crazy Valentine" and his name!

It's a IPod player!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.



Well, we returned this morning at 4am this morning from Colorado. We did not return early just because CBS was sick and needed his mommy to make him better. I did not sleep 4 hours both ways in the back seat while hubby drove to Colorado. I would not lose that quality time with him just for some sleep.

I did not bruise my tailbone aka bottom from tubing (sledding) yesterday from taking the hill with two very small (large) hills. The place we went sledding was not the laziest sledding possible because they would not have a machine that pulls your tube all the way up the mountain. What happened to old school sledding?

And I do not have any pictures to show you how lazy it really was because I did not forget my memory card for my camera for the trip. I did not make Katie take all the photos for me with her camera and make her send them to me via email. Not Me!

I am not ignoring Hutter's tantrum right at this very moment to write this blog!

We did not watch little 3-5 year olds being pulled by horses on skis for the Winter Carnival in Steamboat and think that was the cutest thing ever. Which did not make me secretly wish we live there so my children could do it too.

I did not try on a raw hide with long fringe on it just to take a picture to show you and make you wait to see it until I get the pictures from Katie and I would not tell you how much this beautifully ugly vest thing was! Shhh...$149.95.

Decreasing our expenses

Ok, so here is a little secret I am going to let you in on...I wear the financial pants in this household. I pay the bills, manage the budget, and determine if we have the money to buy something. My husband doesn't like to admit it but he graciously accepts it. Over the years he has openly told me how great I am for taking that responsibility and he loves me even more for it. I am the saver, he is the spender. God is amazing at balancing things out. My husband has to convince me to buy something that I really do need.

So, in the last year I/We have decreased our monthly budget dramatically. We just felt God's desire for us was to be more responsible with what He has given us. That we should spend His money wisely and give more back to Him. Well, I now know why God placed that on our hearts. For the adoption! He knew what our future had in store for us before we did. It is so amazing to see God's plans for us when we obey and follow Him.

So, I thought I would share the ways that we cut back our expenses. The amount is how much we saved in one month.

*Took away a cell phone and changed plans $30.00
*Got premium insurance because the hubby
stopped getting so many speeding tickets $30.00
*Got a cheaper vehicle $127.00
*Took away our Blockbuster Online Srvc $18.36
*Husband stopped eating out for lunch $100.00
*Starting using coupons $40.00 approx
*Only one credit card (just for Emerg) $A lot esp with interest
*Started carpooling with friend to work $35.00

*****Grand Total $380.00/month******

God is Good and We give Him all the Glory!

Now I need to start putting some of that extra money into our new checking account and my goal is to find more ways to save. Don't you want to join along?

Wordless Wednesday

It's officially Mailed

I am so excited! We mailed our official application to our adoption agency this morning and they should be getting it by tomorrow! Yes, I sent it PRIORITY! You are probably asking "Are you really that excited?" Why YES I AM! Thanks for asking!

We also opened up another checking account, today, specifically for the adoption expenses. I think it will be easier and we can keep tract of everything much better.

That is the UPDATE! Now I have to go pack for our Colorado trip. Our last little vacation for a while, I suspect. So, we are going to enjoy every momment of it.

Serious Life Magazine

I wanted you to know about this publication I’m a part of called Serious.Life Magazine. They just published the February issue today, and I am in their Featured Blog Directory. It’s a very high quality magazine… you’ll really like it.

The magazine includes a lot of great content from bloggers you’ll appreciate, as well as great features, photos and other content. The magazine is owned and published by a family who have seven kids, three adopted and one who has Leukemia.(www.riggsfamilyblog.com).

The magazine gives away a bunch of ads to charities and ministries. Besides great articles on interesting people, there is a lot about family, adoption, personal finance, spiritual life, humor… all sorts of “life” topics.

Again, the subscription is free, and I know you’ll enjoy the magazine, so take a minute to check it out and sign up to get future issues. www.seriouslifemagazine.com

Not Me! Monday

Please Do Not check out the hilarious MckMama-The Captain- of the Not Me! Mondays because no one wants a little truth and honest once in a while. But if you do then join along and have some self reflection-therapy for yourself and feel instantly less stressed about your crazy life because your not alone!

Lets start with last night. I mostly certainly did not allow Hutter to eat as many twinkies and drink as much Pepsi as he wanted at the Super Bowl party just so I could watch the thrilling game without interruptions. I mean ignore every minute of that ridiculous game while I had a girly adult conversation with friends and held a sweet 3 month old baby girl who projectile vomited warm fresh breastmilk all over me right after eating. Which did not make me want another baby even more.

Under no circumstances would I consider myself clumsy, but if I was, which I'm not, then I certainly would not bust my lip open on my barstool by reaching over the bar from the other side of the kitchen to get a (dull) sharp pair of scissors to give to my 6 year old to cut some string. Just so I did not have to walk another 5 feet to get them safely. I also am not the kind of mother that would give her child a (dull) sharp pair of scissors to use himself.

When it comes to nights that I have to work I do not become easily stressed, impatient, and irritated because I have to get myself ready, make dinner, help with homework and clean up these....spilled glass of milk, a carton of eggs of the floor after Hutter grabbed them off the counter, and this all within a hour timeframe...



Can you guess what it is?


I did not have a "Wow, AHH" mommy moment when Hutter brought this out to me from his room. I did not think that he is brilliant and that having boys is fun, unpredictable, and imaginitive!



I also do not really claim this child as my own because I would never allow him to look like this especially after working 12 hours that night and had no sleep!