her tush

I have been researching, contemplating, and rethinking cloth diapering for the last year. After seeing my little girl's tush in "old fashion" cloth diapers at her current home, I decided to jump on board. Her little bottom will be used to it and everything about cloth diapering these days just makes sense for us. Now, I will say, honestly. I am not going to be a 100% cloth diapering mama. No, I will classify myself as a part timer. Because that is just how I roll. I still love me some disposables, especially when out and about.

So, I made the purchase. It was actually very emotional for me. The gal helping me probably thought I was nuts. Crying while picking out cloth diapers. She probably thought, " why is she doing it then, just stick to disposables if it going to be that bad!"



I was thinking about how I have never seen her little tush. Is it chubby with a few extra cheeks? Bubbly round, like my boys? Flat, and petite? Dimply?

I have never seen her little thighs either. Does she look like a Michelin baby? Or lean little thighs? I don't know...

I am going to have to withhold myself from asking if, at the first meeting, they could just bring her in a diaper.

totally kidding....maybe?

This mama wants to see her girl in her cute diaper tush.



I also got the detergent for the special washing these diapers require and a cute little bag to put the wet diapers into.






Any advice from you cloth diaper mama experts would be greatly appreciated.

one year ago

Today, marks our one year anniversary of when we started this journey to our fifth child.

***A year ago...***

an application was placed in the mail, that day changed the rest of my life.

I did not know her face, but today I do.

I did not know God would teach me the depth of His love but today I see it so clearly

I wouldn't have thought my daughter would be deaf, but today I wouldn't want her any other way.

I feared we would not have the money for the expenses, but today we have paid every penny.

I did not know I would be flying around the world to get our daughter soon but today I sit anxiously waiting for it to happen.

I did not know how much my life would change, but today I am happier than ever.

I did not know how much I could love a child that did not grow under my heart, but today I am so in love, my heart aches for her.

I did not know her name would be Lennox, but today I can't decide if we call her Lenni, Nox, Yujina, or just Lennox.

I did not know the friendships I would make, but today I can't see my life without them.

I did not know my Studly would be so in love with his little girl, but today I see it when I catch him gleaming at her pictures.

I did not know I would be thinking about a woman who selfishly gave my child life, but today I pray for her.

I did not know I would find the cutest boots from H&M for three dollars, but today I can't wait to put her feet in them.

I did not know I would influence someone else to take this leap of faith, but today I praise God for letting me be His vessel for His lost children.

***A year ago....today***

Here she is!!

She's movin'

We got a video of her that is 40 minutes long!!!!!!!!

I am just so in love with her. She does this head bobbing thing that looks like she is jammin' to her own rhythm that is going on inside her little mind. She is a little feisty and takes toys away. The boys have been warned! We got a smile! A small one but we saw it.

This video is going to be on repeat for the next month!

This is such a bitter sweet moment. I just want to kiss on her toes, snuggle her close to me and let her chew on my jewelry.

This girl has changed my life. She is going to be one spoiled baby girl soon.

I will try and find a way to edit it down to a five minute clip so I can share her with you.

But excuse me while I go watch the video again....

We got video

We have it, but we can't view it!

It has to be converted into a cd or dvd tomorrow. I am at work today and tomorrow. So unless I can find someone who has a camcorder who takes this type of tape then I will not get to see my girl in action until tomorrow at 8:30pm.

Say a few prayers that we find someone. Cuz this mama needs to see her girl.

EP approvals are happening for our agency. Not me, yet. My good friend Brooke got hers today. Praying we get to travel together and meet IRL. Praying for Febuary 3rd to get the announcement. I just have a little inside joke with God that it will be happening on that day.

We'll see...

But for now I want to see her movin' !

then and now

*August 23th 2007*

*January 18th 2010*

close to heaven

I am about as close to heaven as I can get right now. These were taken on 01/21/10.
I am smitten for this girl and so is Studly. Today is turning out to be an amazing day. God knew I needed this day. Studly surprised me with a massage, which I have never had before. Then we are going on a date tonight. A movie, then dinner, then another movie. Double feature!

But who really cares about all that. I know you all just want to see that girl!

















She is standing! I pray we get her before she is walking.